A Moment for Respite
by DarkAgea
Summary: Roy only wished he could have done more. That he could comfort this soldier far too young to be one, the Edward Elric who shouldn't have to be invulnerable. But there were different ways to help someone, and Roy would do his best. (Parental!RoyEd)


**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

 **A/N: I needed to write something for Parental!RoyEd. And this was what came. It's been some time since I saw the anime so I'm relying on my memory (which is notoriously bad) and the FMA wiki. I do hope I've managed to keep the characters in-character. (This is 2003 anime-based.)**

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 **A Moment for Respite**

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Roy never expected to see his subordinate this... desperate. He knew it had been coming for a long time. After all, there was a limit for everything, and he had never seen Edward break down in all the time he had known the young alchemist. But failure after failure, coupled with the death of young Nina Tucker; Roy would have been surprised if Edward hadn't reacted like this.

But what really surprised him was the fact that the alchemist had come to him with tears in his aureate eyes. He had expected Fullmetal to go to Hughes, who would have been much better with dealing at this. He could have even gone to his brother or anybody other than him, Roy Mustang, one of the worst people at comforting others.

"Why?" Fullmetal asked, golden eyes locked onto onyx. Roy knew exactly what he was talking about. "Why... did she have to die? Why does all of this keep happening?"

He kept his elbows on the table, chin on his folded hands, as he examined his subordinate. No physical injuries, but Roy knew that the emotional ones could hurt you much more. He had dark bags under his eyes, and looked tired. As if he had been sitting awake night after night, which Roy was sure he had done.

Some scenes were never meant to be forgotten, no matter how much one wished they would disappear. When Roy destroyed a village with Flame Alchemy in the Eastern Rebellion, the image of terrified people and the scent of burning flesh had stayed with him, haunting him in the nights to follow.

This was one situation where _'sooner rather than later'_ didn't apply.

"Tell me!" He heard Fullmetal's voice waver as he yelled. It was a surprise the boy wasn't swaying where he stood; there shouldn't have been that much energy in Fullmetal's small body to stay upright after his usual dramatic entrance.

"How long has it been since you slept?" Roy asked, feeling a small pang of guilt for his cold commanding tone.

There was some confusion in the younger alchemist's eyes. "Why does it matter?" Though that annoying tone was still present.

"Because it does. Now answer me, Fullmetal."

"I've been busy with research so not too much. About three hours?" Fullmetal's eyes refused to meet his own, and Roy distantly thought he would have to teach the teen how to lie better.

"Wrong answer."

The alchemist glared at him, but Roy wasn't the least fazed. He had immunity to such glares after having been on the receiving end of Riza's. And god, his lieutenant was scary.

"... Two days," he grumbled after some time.

Roy didn't feel surprised. He had expected this as well. "And does Alphonse know?"

An answer didn't seem to be forthcoming. Fullmetal kept his mouth shut, still not looking at him in the eye.

"What would he say?"

"Nothing if you don't tell him," he shot back.

Roy tried to keep his calm and patience. His subordinate was incredibly stubborn, but so was he.

"Stop beating around the bush and just answer me. This is my fault, isn't it?" Fullmetal asked, his voice slightly trembling, even as he tried to keep up his normal attitude.

"No."

"What do you mean _'no'_?! I could have saved her if I had just been a bit more observant!" Roy tried not to frown as the boy ranted. He hadn't really believed a word would have been enough to stop him from feeling guilty, but he hadn't thought the teen would start yelling. "I'm the one who's useless. Al's stuck in armour because of me and my insistence to do human transmutation and now she's dead because of my stupidity!"

The boy took in deep breaths, tears slowly streaming down his face. He slumped to the ground, hiding his face in his hands.

"And now it's been four years since Al lost his body. I promised him and every time I'm failing him! He trusted me, and it led him into all of this. He must surely hate me for putting him through all of this. And Nina..." His voice trailed off, and Roy could hear sobs as Fullmetal trembled. "You're only useless during the rain, but I'm useless every time it counts!"

Roy stood up, walking to where his subordinate was. He sat down cross-legged, so close that he was nearly touching the boy and feeling slightly out of his depth. However, Fullmetal needed it.

"You should stop blaming yourself all the time. You were a child during the transmutation. You could not have possibly known what would have happened. Neither could you have predicted what would have happened to the girl. The fact you are trying your best to correct your mistake speaks a lot of you. And Alphonse could never hate you. You are his brother, and you're doing everything you can to give him his body back. The day I came to see you, there was a spark in your eyes. The spark of determination. It's still there, and the day you let it get crushed is the day you have truly failed."

Roy tried not to pant for air as he finished. He had never spoken for such a long time before. Helpful, caring speeches were more of Hughes' forte than his. _'How I wish he was here. He would be able to deal with Fullmetal better than me.'_

There was an awkward silence for some time, broken only by the sobs of the golden-haired alchemist sitting in front of him.

"Why did this happen, Mustang?" A small voice asked him.

Roy remembered Ishval for a few moments. Senseless killings and fire and guns, leading to nothing but more destruction. "Equivalent exchange is only a way for alchemists to understand the world, Fullmetal. But the fact is, it doesn't exist in life. There is no perfect equivalent exchange for what happened to you and no equivalent exchange for the deaths in the world." Perhaps that wasn't a straight answer, but what was one supposed to say to a question like that?

Silence returned for a few moments. Then Fullmetal hugged him.

It was so sudden that Roy tensed up. He couldn't believe Fullmetal, his brash annoying subordinate, was crying. In a daze, he lifted his hand, cupping Edward's cheek. He wiped the tears with his thumb, and as his glove became wet, reality slowly set in. The older Elric was crying. Roy felt that he needed to emphasis that. _Crying_.

His mind had suddenly gone into panic. _'What do I do? Could this all be a dream? Is Fullmetal not thinking clearly? Should I hug him and say something or should I just sit here?'_

In the end, he decided to just listen to his internal Hughes and balance both options.

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Edward felt Mustang stiffen as he hugged him. In all honesty, he didn't know why he did it himself. But for some seconds, it was easy to pretend the man in front of him could get him through all of this.

He knew he would either be shouted at or pushed away any moment now. After all, Mustang wasn't the type for hugging, and surely he wasn't going to start today. Plus, they both regularly insulted each other and the Flame Alchemist had already made his opinion on him clear. There was no way the lieutenant colonel was comfortable with this.

He was amazed when his superior tentatively hugged him back. The man pulled Edward into his lap and tucked Ed's head in the crook of his neck with a gloved hand.

He didn't want to show this weakness, but he couldn't seem to hold it in either. So he just let it out, clinging on to the alchemist in front of him like a lifeline.

Ironically, Mustang smelt like the earth after the first rain in the year. It reminded him of his days at Resembool, when he and Al would go out and play in the rain after having endlessly begged their mother. He was glad Mustang didn't try to give him some meaningless platitudes and pity. If he had, Ed would have lost any bit of civility and just punched him with his automail fist.

When all the tears were finally out of his system and he felt calmer, he simply sat there, not wanting to let go. He loosened his grip, just listening to his superior's even breathing. It felt so good to have somebody to confide to, to have somebody comfort him. He couldn't afford to break down most of the time; Al needed to have a pillar of support. But at the same time, he wanted to jump back, start yelling and being his normal self; he wanted to act as if this had never happened.

He had thought Mustang could answer him. The lieutenant colonel was an alchemist like him, but far more experienced, and Edward had naively believed the man would have an answer for him. Never in a thousand years would he have believed that the older alchemist, who he didn't think of very favourably (annoying, cold and uncaring would be just few of the descriptors), would have consoled him. It was practically unbelievable.

But here they were, hugging each other.

"Are you better now, Fullmetal?" Mustang gently murmured, and Ed thought he heard a note of concern.

"Yeah..." He managed to answer back, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his red coat.

And then they were subordinate and superior again. Fullmetal and Flame.

Mustang stood in front of him, and Edward thought he saw a bit of compassion in his obsidian eyes. He desperately tried not to blush when he noticed the dark, tear-stained part of the military uniform. Though he was sure he failed when he saw amusement in Mustang's eyes.

"Um, Lieutenant Colonel?" He asked, trying to fill himself with confidence. "Could you... could you not tell anyone I was... uh... I was-" He couldn't bring himself to say 'crying'. The word got stuck in his throat, no matter how much he tried.

"I do ask you stop destroying buildings left and right, Fullmetal. Too much smoke and dust particles along with your late-night reading will definitely damage your eyes. The effect is already visible. And your actions also hurt the military budget," Mustang spoke smoothly with a small smirk.

Edward's eyes widened, taking in what the man had just said. He didn't trust himself to speak, instead giving a small smile. Not his reassuring smile or the 'I-just-got-one-over-you' grin - a real smile.

"You are dismissed, Fullmetal."

He gave a jerky nod and turned around, mechanically walking towards the door. When he put his hand on the handle, he heard the colonel speak. "Everybody here cares for you, Fullmetal. And go get some sleep - that's an order. You look like a mess."

"Thanks, Mustang," he said, swallowing his pride, before walking out.

Roy watched as Ed left, for the first time not banging the door.

He sat back at his desk. Although he was looking at his paperwork with a pen in hand, his mind was still on what had just occurred.

Perhaps this was not like at him at all, but he wished he could have given more support to Edward. The teen was an adult forced into the position before he could enjoy his childhood, a dog of the military far too young.

But supporting someone could be done in many ways, and he would do what he could.

* * *

 _There's like a million different ways to say "I love you."_

 _"Put your seat belt on."_

 _"Did you eat?"_

 _"Get some rest."_

 _...you just have to listen._

 _-The Scribbled Stories_

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 _*FIN*_

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 **A/N: And that's it. Did I make some mistakes? Any timeline contradictions? The first time I wrote this, it went completely OOC half-way through (it was kinda like wish-fulfilment for me). I hope this one at least sounds plausible. Hope you liked it!**

 ***Edit: Changed the wording of a sentence. Thank you, ChronicleArt!***


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